As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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