I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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