just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
