You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
