So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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