I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
