I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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