can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
