He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
