I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize