We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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