My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize