OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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