i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
