we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
