The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
