he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
