My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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