A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
