Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
