why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
