I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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