Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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