He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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