Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
