is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
