we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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