i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
