did you get engaged???
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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