wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
