Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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