I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
