He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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