we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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