Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
