you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
