Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
