I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
