No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
