just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think your dad took our porno
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
