was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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