Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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