OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
