OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
