my vag is so smooth its legendary
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
only if we run a train.
done.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Floor bacon is actually really good
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
