Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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