Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
