i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
