I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
