Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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