..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
