i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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