we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
