I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
