worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
