i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize