Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
