Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
