Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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