it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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