I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize