Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize