What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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