he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The cops high fived after they tackled you
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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